Warning: if you follow me on snapchat, some of these jokes may seem familiar. Sorry, I’m not sorry, they were great jokes!
Just kidding, my brain is too tired to think of new ones. If you want to see some fresh stuff, make sure you follow me @sunnieko.
SO, last week I got the best email of all time. A company called Augusta Sports emailed me asking “at what lengths would you go to catch em all?”
“Well,” I thought, “that depends.”
The email continued and asked if they could send some of their gear to try out on a pokemon hunt/run and to represent my team (yeah team VALOR!).
New gear? Legit excuse to play more Pokemon go? Um. Yes please. My 10 year old former self was giving me a high five.
August Sports sent me two pieces:
The women’s Zentense Tank (in valor red) is a super wicking tank top which was perfect for the humid night I chose to run. As I’ve mentioned, I’m a real sweater and wasn’t even aware of how drenched I was until after I had finished. It runs a touch small (or I’m possibly in deniable about some weight gain) but all in all, I was really pleased!
The women’s fysique shorts are honestly my new favorite running shorts. Not only did I not chafe (no thigh gap to be seen here), but they fit great. You can see in the photo the back end falls a bit longer than the front which I LOVE as I know shorts can really ride sometimes. My favorite part? The price. They are comparable to my Nike running shorts and come at a price that you would normally find on a clearance rack.
I was outfitted and ready to go and thought it would be fun to set some parameters for my pokemon hunt.
- Run as long as it took to catch 10 pokemon (and no they didn’t have to be new, I did have some other things I had to do the rest of the evening).
- Catch a Psyduck. I had seen this silhouette along the potomac river for weeks and have been driven mad by the fact that I’ve never had a chance to catch him. I would catch him.
Around 6:15, I set off. I stupidly left my apartment with 36% battery power which everyone knows in pokemon Go time is like 2 weedles and a freakin’ pidgy (or 23 minutes in normal people time.) I clicked into power save mode and headed into Georgetown. First hurdle was getting my app to work. Pokemon Go has to be the only app that works about 2% of the time you try to use it, but still has a total cult following. I mean I seriously, my “phone” is just an over priced gameboy if I’m being honest…I haven’t made a phone call in weeks.
I ran couple miles without feeling any vibrations from my phone. Then it happened. Buzzz.
Alien armadillo! Nice! Pokemon #1 in the books.
I ran across Key Bridge with no success of getting any pokemon (I’m still not sure if it was the app or just my luck) so I decided to run over to Teddy Roosevelt Island to log a few more miles in a more “natural” setting. Buzzzz
Sweet. A dead fish. Not sure if you have read the description for this pokemon but it says he’s the most pathetic pokemon out there. I mean he looks more comatose than pathetic to me but nonetheless, I had pokemon #2.
I kept running and saw it– the Psyduck sillhoute. I must be close, I thought to myself! Buzzz. DO I FINALLY HAVE A CHANCE TO MEET MY NEMISIS!?
Nope another dead fish. Womp womp.
I was probably around three miles in at this point and that Psyduck was still teasing me so I trudged on. I crossed over the TR bridge and entered the island pathway. I immediately ran into (not figuratively, literally) a kid who was head down, speedwalking around looking for something.
We exchanged looks, similar to when Steven and I both spot the last slice of pizza at the same time, and I gave him the same response I would give to Steven.
“It’s mine, beotch.”
I had the advantage of running at a speedy pace and covering more ground. He was also on warning 2 from his mom about wandering off too far, so I had that going for me.
Monkey! This was a new one for me. Superrrrr pumped.
One minute later. Buzz.
An escaped Angry bird. Hide your house! Hide your pigs!
#6! The cutest little Pokemon. Evie was being a little shy when I was snapping the photo. I was seriously on a roll.
LEEECH! YAY! This was a new guy for me. And #7.
Garden hose, great! Also a new Pokemon. I asked a stranger to take a photo with me in it but he was in a rush and couldn’t. Then I watched him walk three steps and sit on a bench.
You’re kidding, right? Oh well…#9
I caught all of those pokemon within minutes of each other and within the first quarter mile of being in the island.
After that, there was a drought. I made it around the island (about a mile) without a buzz on my phone. Not a rattatta, not a bat thing, nothing. Sure, there are pokemon at the Italian store, Starbucks and parking lot at my apartment, but none at a forest, next to a river. Classic.
I continued to see the Psyduck silhouette on my screen. It was maddening. And then I heard it– the screams of children.
Where there are children, there are Pokemon, I said to myself.
So I ventured toward the children, but alas, all I found were kids playing tag. UGH, kids getting away from technology, going outside and exercising, SO ANNOYING!
So I wandered.
I traveled to every corner of the universe, it felt like.
I felt so alone.
So I sadly headed off the island.
THE PSYDUCK! I took a few photos, threw a few pokeballs and in the end….
I nabbed the little bugger. It was so perfect. #10….my unicorn…er…drugged up duck.
The entire run took me around 55 minutes and covered around 6 miles. It was actually crazy how fast the time flew and I’m not going to lie…I’ll probably do this again.
Moral of the story?
Some people are motivated by goals,
I’m motivated by catching fake virtual animals.
Thanks again to August Sports for the awesome gear! You can check them out HERE.