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I’m Not Getting Married…


…right now (good hook-headline huh!? Thats Blogging 101 right there!).

Is there something about entering the later half of your twenties that creates a time bomb that everyone, except for me, can see strapped to my body??

It is allegedly a terrifying  bomb…covered in lace, flowers AND it plays the Cha-Cha Slide on repeat.

That’s right. The marriage bomb. This crazy contraption makes everyone feel like if I don’t get married within the next 48 hours, I’m doomed to a life of sadness.

It seems like just yesterday, everyone was advising me that I was too young to get married…that I needed more life experience…that I needed to know my partner better…that I needed to be financially stable.

Meanwhile, I was just wondering if I should get extra cheese on my pizza.

Now, it is one of the most frequent questions I get. I’m flattered that people think because I’ve aged another year, I am that much more mature (did I mention I was taking shots of fireball on my birthday a mere month ago?) but let’s be serious. I’m still just a gal who still LIKES to drink Miller Lite (see below…although that might be Busch Light…which I don’t like…you get the point) and won’t buy anything from Bed Bath and Beyond without a blue 20% off coupon.
Steven at the Lake

**Disclaimer: This post has nothing to do with dear Steven. He is a champ. To prove his devotion:  I came home from my last work trip around 12:30AM and I found a Trader Joes Frozen Tikki Masala waiting for me in case I was hungry AND some lovely flowers in a vase. Indian food and flowers. He is the perfect man.

As someone who has experienced a large influx in questions regarding my own relationship, I felt the need, nay, the responsibility, to delve out this PSA about why you shouldn’t ask people when they are getting married. I am most certainly guilty of having done this myself…I just didn’t know what it was like until I was in the hot seat. So to all you friends out there, I’m sorry! Here are just a few of the reasons…

He/She might have things they find more interesting things to tell you

For instance, did you know that I got a new rice cooker for Christmas? That thing perfectly cooks sticky rice in a mere 30 minutes and keeps it warm and delicious for hours and hours on end. I also trained for a half marathon, started a blog, developed a new product at work, AND tried going to Bronx pizza instead of Goodies. Did you know that they have a carbonara pizza!? It is fabulous.

That is a pretty personal question

The decision to get married should be between the two (or more…if you are into that) people who are involved in potentially merging their lives, sharing and growing for-ev-er. It is personal. I don’t ask you you when you are going to poop next. That is between you and your potty.

That assumes someone wants to get married

I don’t have to tell you, marriage = commitment (I can only assume…as you can tell from this post, I’m not married.) But commitment ≠ equal marriage. Meaning, I don’t think being married is the ONLY way to show your partner that you are committed. You could order them a pizza, for instance. Or not steal the covers in the middle of the night. You could even have a discussion about what commitment means and where you both stand in a relationship. Commitment is what you and your partner(s) (again…if that is your cup of tea) define it to be.

Maybe he/she wants to surprise you and you just blew it.

There was a party all set up for the reveal. He/she rented a bar (open bar, might I add), invited all your friends…even got a cake! And now, you just put him/her in an awkward position. He/she blurts it out that they are indeed getting married but you just ruined the surprise. Now, no open bar party. Way to go.
Don’t get me wrong–
I have no hate towards marriage. I LOVE seeing my friends and family get married. I’m just hollering as a gal who loves where she is at in life and is slightly exhausted at explaining this exact blog post, verbally, over and over again. I’m working on the elevator version of it. I have a lot of important decisions to make in life, marriage being one of them. I just have to chip away at them one by one.

Now, to decide what to eat for lunch.

Happy Tri-ing!



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  1. “I don’t ask you when you are going to poop next, that’s between you and your potty. ” hahaha Great post as always, Sunnie.

    Our twenties, at least to me, feel like a phase 2 growth spurt that no one told us about in health class. Every year of my twenties has felt so exponentially different than the last. I grow emotionally and establish what I’ll tolerate in a relationship. It’s hard to imagine being married or committed in something when I still am learning what I want. And I think waiting, as long as everyone in the relationship is on the same page.

    I feel this pressure similarly, but more so in just having a partner. When I came out to my parents, my dad excitedly asked if I was in love and I felt like I let him down in a way. #LesLifeProblems haha


    • Haha thanks Molly, thought you’d like that one!

      Yes I totally agree. Everyone said that you find yourself and grow the most in college but I’m finding the twenties to be the real growth. Everyone is at different places in their life which is wonderful! I just wonder why it is that everyone expects you to be in the same place…

      Also, having to make my own food instead of going to a cafeteria is something I’m still getting used to.

      Either way- pressure to be in love or get married seems crazy to me. Love comes when its wants to come but is always welcome in my book. Miss you!


  2. Pingback: Why We Decided to Get Married | Just Tri It Once

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