For the past two and a half months, I have been training for my half marathon, covering just under 100 miles, enduring a few pesky injuries and some crazy warm weather. Since we’ve gotten pretty close over the past few months, I’ve decided to give you some real details. Here are my running thoughts.
5:05 PM: Here I am about to start my run.
For all of you reading this, you might think this is the “start” but a lot has happened to get up to this point. I woke up in the morning, had to put on pants (this is probably the most trying part of the day), commute to work, work, commute home, take off pants that took so much effort to put on in the morning only to put on a different kind of functioning “pants” and then snap this photo.
5:07 PM: Now, I am sitting on the couch contemplating whether it is too dark to run.
I might get hit by a car. I might get kidnapped. I might get hit by a deer. I might step on one of those spiky balls that one of the houses I pass never sweeps away, slip and get concussed. I might freeze to death. I might pass a really cute dog…so cute that I stop running to pet it, steal it, and then go to jail. All of these things could ruin my life. Do I really want to risk it all for a little run?
5:10 PM: None of those things have happened in the past 2 months (with exception to slipping on a spiky ball, damn those non-sweeping neighbors) so I should probably go.
5:12 PM: Ok, I’m ready!
Oh wait- I need my keys.
5:16 PM: Ok, now I’m ready.
Oh shoot, my lights.
5:17 PM: Ok, finally ready.
Wait, where did I put my keys?
5:18 PM: Ok, keys and lights check…here I go.
5:20 PM: This feels pretty good!
Dangit.I hate this stoplight. I have to keep running in place or else I’ll lose momentum. I wonder if people think I look silly. They don’t know I’ve just started this run, for all they know, I could be on my 17th mile. Stop judging me! Why are people such jerks, I mean, I didn’t even do anything to them and…oh look! My cross sign.
5:22 PM: I hate this road. Its first the first mile of my run and it just makes me tired. Also, it is pretty well lit so people must think I’m super lame for wearing these blinking lights. What should I have for dinner tonight?
5:25 PM: AHH! THE SPIKEY BALLS. SWEEP YOUR SIDEWALK!
5:30 PM: Turning onto the Clarendon strip. I hope I don’t see anyone I know. I hope they are handing out those free samples of pizza. I hope it is still mostly down hill…it was yesterday.
5:38 PM: GET OUT OF MY WAY PEOPLE. Why do you think sidewalks are for standing?! I’m trying to run.
Stop being so irrational, Sunnie. I mean, you did decide to run in a overpopulated strip of Arlington when there are so many other roads. You are being mean, calm down- MOVE! What was I saying?
5:45 PM: Feeling good! This pace feels fast and right. (Gentleman in his late 50’s passes me). Dangit.
6:02 PM: Remember that Shake Shack burger you had on Saturday? Man that was delicious. Maybe I should get it tomorrow? Maybe not. Shake shack for lunch 2/3 days probably isn’t great for you. But you are running which means you are invincible to Shake Shack badness….I don’t think thats true actually…and I don’t think “badness” is a word. It should be a word. It’s a good one.
6:10 PM: Almost home.
Ugh, I just got so tired. Every time. Every time I’m close to the end, I just feel like collapsing. This is the worst. Maybe you should sprint the last quarter mile, then you’ll get home faster. Yes, perfect plan.
6:11 PM: Nope, nope…horrible idea. Damnit. Welp, you’ve committed so just keep going.
6:13 PM: Home. *Pant Pant Pant* Thank goodnesss *Pant Pant Pant*Am I dead? *Pant Pant Pant* Never again.
6:14 PM: That actually felt ok. Better than yesterday. *Pant* I actually feel amazing. I’m glad I did that.
5:17 PM: Must take pants off…
Plan for tomorrow: Repeat above.